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Divorce Guidelines Help Reduce Confusion and Stress
One of, if not the, biggest stressor during the separation process is the paralyzing confusion. What should I do now... where should I go... who should I be talking to? Like a deer caught in the headlights, you feel frozen in place. And just like that deer, remaining motionless can prove disastrous.
Counseling, books, and the Internet are three excellent sources of right-now answers and guidance. The first, counseling, can help you sort out the jumble of painful feelings, and help you find emotional direction.
Because your concentration will be severely, though temporarily, impaired, you may have trouble reading lengthy books on the subject. But there are a few that take that into consideration, and are more tightly written. Here are three of our top choices:
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Your Pocket Divorce Guide by Linda C. Senn (Pen Central Press 1999) offers concise guidelines on preparing for divorce and finding an attorney, as well as information on mediation, child support and other topics. A short book written especially for those contemplating or just entering the separation phase, it doesn't tax your concentration with long narratives and examples.
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Divorce Strategy: Tactics for a Civil Financial Divorce by Laura Johnson (Broken Heart Publishing 1997) provides more detailed information on the monetary aspects of divorce in a straightforward, easy-to-follow manner.
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The Good Divorce by Constance R. Ahrons, Ph.D. (HarperCollins 1994) was written for families with young children. She offers excellent guidelines and philosophies for establishing new family relations.
These three books address the seemingly endless, exhausting questions that constantly disrupt your normal functioning. The guidelines in their pages will go a long way to reducing the stress and confusion that are so much a part of the early divorce process.
Also... do talk to others who have gone through divorce, preferably within the last few years. You'll benefit greatly from both their experience and their support.
~ April 2000
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