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Isolation
Question
I'm taking steps now to separate from my husband, and I've never felt so alone in my life! I'm not sure I can get through the next few months on my own. What can I do?
Answer
Almost everyone feels isolated from their friends and family during separation and divorce. But you're right to want to do something to alleviate that. Studies have shown a very positive mind/body connection for those who have a strong emotional support network.
First, your feelings of isolation may come as a surprise to your friends and family. Chances are that's just your sad perspective at the moment, and doesn't reflect their attitudes.
Second, you don't say whether you've spoken to anyone close to you about the impending separation. If there are two or three people with whom you feel completely comfortable, let them in on the turn your life is about to take. Or you can simply let them know that you're going through a particularly rough time and would appreciate staying in closer touch with them.
Third, make a conscious effort to get together with your support team, either individually or in small groups. You can either talk about your current situation or just reinforce friendships and family ties. What you're building now isn't just emotional first-aid for the divorce period. These wonderful, caring people will be the cornerstones of your new life.
Fourth, if you aren't already in counseling, consider finding a therapist now. A neutral outside party can guide your efforts to build a strong, healthy support network and will help you sort through the chaos of this major life transition.
Good luck!
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