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Journal Through Your Divorce
One of the most enduring methods for surviving trauma of any kind is writing out feelings. Divorce certainly qualifies as "trauma," and journaling is a good way to help you get through the pain, anger and sadness everyone experiences during such an event.
People often say they aren't "writers" and believe they can't journal because they think they must be good writers. When journaling, you don't have to pay attention to grammar, spelling, punctuation or pretty phrasing because it's for your eyes only. The object of journaling is to write out your feelings without analyzing them so writing becomes free-flowing and edit-free.
Writing is a physical act, and when you put pen to paper and let go of your mental editor, feelings will appear without effort. Here are some general tips:
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Don't edit as you write; accept whatever comes up.
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Use guided journaling in books such as The Divorce Recovery Journal by Linda C. Senn and Mary Stuart, M.A.
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Forget grammar, spelling and turn of phrase.
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Write until you feel finished.
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If you're new to journaling, start out with old-fashioned pen and paper. You can switch to keyboard or typewriter later.
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Write in blank journals that are published precisely for this purpose.
If you have difficulty knowing the difference between your thoughts and your feelings think back to the last time you were angry. What were your physical symptoms? Feeling hot (raised blood pressure), rapid heart rate (rise in adrenaline), faster breathing, and perhaps other physical symptoms can all be symptoms of emotion.
Feelings and emotions are located in the body. Thoughts, on the other hand, are abstract entities. If you're unsure whether you're thinking or feeling, take an inventory of how your body feels.
In the beginning, write whenever you feel the need. Eventually, feelings will begin to change and your journaling will evolve with them. When you first begin to journal your feelings about your divorce, don't reread immediately. Wait at least two weeks or even longer before looking at what you've written. Allowing time to elapse enables you to see your own growth and progress.
Feelings are fleeting and often we can't recall how we felt about certain issues or people. Keeping a journal captures your own personal history. In addition to giving yourself an emotional outlet during a troubled time, you're also giving yourself a historical record that will allow further reflection at a later date.
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