View Shopping Cart / Checkout
We accept credit cards
| ©2000 Pen Central Communications |
|
The Role of a Divorce Mediator
Divorce mediation is relatively new. Although lawyers have handled most of these negotiations in the past, they negotiate with each other. Mediation is the cooperative method between divorcing spouses; attorneys use the adversarial method.
The mediator's job is to help the opposing spouses come to mutual resolutions on their various sticking points, and to help the couple avoid getting bogged down in he-said-she-saids. It also offers a neutral arena fully equipped with an impartial facilitator.
The situations that benefit most from the services of a professional mediator are:
-
Business/financial disputes,
-
Disagreements over the property settlement,
-
Child custody disputes,
-
Spousal or child support issues.
Generally it takes four to eight sessions to negotiate the contested issues and arrive at a mutually agreeable settlement. You and your soon-to-be-ex will decide who pays for this service, but if you both share in the financial responsibility of keeping the discussions on track, you'll be more likely to achieve steady progress.
Roughly 96 percent* of all divorces filed never go to trial but are settled beforehand. So it makes sense to work out your settlement together with a skilled negotiator rather than under pressure from the court, if you can work from a reasonable balance of power and compromise. [*In St. Louis County, MO]
Most licensed mediators have either a legal background or psychology/counseling background, and both disciplines can guide you through the resolution process. Counselor mediators can be especially helpful when "people" issues like child custody need to be addressed. If the issues are business and money oriented, consult an attorney mediator with experience in litigation. The latter are usually able to fill out the final settlement papers in the proper form, including all necessary information for your attorney to file with the courts, which helps to ensure that there are no changes or misunderstandings between mediation and the final divorce proceedings.
Key ingredients in the ultimate success of mediation are a reasonable degree of honesty and cooperation, an acceptable balance of power, and trust in the mediation process, even if you and your spouse don't have any great trust in each other. There must also be a reasonable certainty that neither party is hiding assets or other facts pertinent to the case.
Divorce mediation isn't appropriate in all cases, but when it is, the cooperative effort usually results in less pain and anger later on than the purely adversarial method does.
~ March 2000
Related Articles
Diffusing Your Anger in a Divorce
Dealing With Your Ex-Spouse, How to Avoid An Argument
Getting Along with Your Ex After the Divorce
Other Resources
Shopping
View Shopping Cart / Checkout
We accept credit cards
FREE shipping
Divorce Transitions is sponsored by Pen Central Communications, PO Box 220369, St. Louis, MO 63122-0369, 314-984-9805 [phone] 314-821-8482 [Fax] info@PenCentralOnline.com