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Personal Ads: Online
The rules for shopping or running online personal ads are pretty much the same as newspaper ads . However, some online singles' sites offer a lot more room for the introductory ad, so you can be more creative in your ad writing.
The basic abbreviations are usually the same as for print ads .
Some services like Match.com charge a membership fee, while others like Yahoo! don't. Even those that charge usually offer some kind of free introductory period.
Each site has a little different personality. Some (often the paid membership sites) offer classier and more imaginative ads. Many have a wide range of ads from well written to crude. Be prepared to skip over some of the ads if you aren't comfortable with fairly adult language. If, after checking several supposedly appropriate entries, you find the whole tone of the site is wrong for you, leave that one and check into a different singles' site. Here are just a few.
You can find dozens, if not hundreds, more by opening virtually any of the search engines and entering "love sites," "personals," "classifieds," or "singles sites" in their search boxes.
Be aware that e-mailing with a new friend online creates a feeling of almost instant intimacy, especially when you exchange several e-notes a day. You'll naturally be selective about the topics you bring up and the way you address them. These notes tend to be very open, often almost stream-of-consciousness sharings, and you'll use your most creative writing style -- all of which may or may not represent the real you or the real e-mail friend.
Generally it's best to correspond for a month or so before having your first phone contact, and you should have several of those before you arrange a face-to-face meeting. (Naturally that should be at a public place, during the day, with several of your friends aware of your plans to meet this new friend.) Watch for any indications that the other person may have misrepresented him or herself. It's rare, but it happens.
If singles events feel phony and uncomfortable to you, and many have that meat-market feeling, online date searches may be just what you're looking for. It's fun to browse the online ads -- just remember to do it with your eyes wide open.
~ March 2000
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