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Personal Ads: Safety
Meeting new, datable people seems to bring out the awkward twelve-year-old in even the best of us. Yet sooner or later after our marriage breaks up, we begin to miss the company of the opposite sex, to say nothing of the physical closeness. We told you of a few places to check out in Socializing , and will share additional ideas in future articles.
One of the more daring ways to meet is through newspaper or online personal ads. Certainly they're a hit-and- miss approach, but you never know - at least one friend of mine is deliriously happy married to her online honey.
Your first consideration in either searching or running your own ad is personal safety. Take the following safety measures even if they seem a little too conservative. The fact that he or she has a lovely, trustworthy phone voice or lyrical writing style doesn't necessarily mean they're trustworthy or even honest!
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Don't give out your phone number or home address until you've had time to get to know the person.
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When meeting by e-mail, keep up the correspondence for at leasta month before arranging your first phone call. (You may be sorely tempted to ignore this one, because exchanging several soulful e-mails a day can create an illusion of instant intimacy. Remember that getting acquainted takes time.)
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If the other offers his or her phone number, feel free to call. But first find out your local phone company's Caller ID blocker number. Then dial that number first when you call your new friend.
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When arranging your first few meetings, pick public places and meet during daylight hours.
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Tell two or three friends when and where you plan to meet.
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When you leave those first meetings, don't drive directly home. Run some errands, go shopping or just drive around. And, yes, watch your rear view mirror.
It's not a bad idea to be mildly paranoid all through the initial meeting process. Once your personal information is out, you can never recall it. If your new friend is worth your time, he or she should applaud the way to take care of yourself.
~ January 2000
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