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Fresh Start Socializing

As you return to singledom, you may be ready to socialize in mixed company long before you're ready to date. The problem is that you now feel like a perpetual fifth wheel, and aren't comfortable inserting yourself into all-couples situations. (At this point in your transition, it feels like the whole rest of the world has paired off, right?)

During that early venturing out period try some of these ideas to get you out into mixed conversation at a thoroughly comfortable level.

Classes

Check out the investment, line dancing, auto repair, art, writing, cooking, computer, self- development and small business classes, or any of the hundreds of other evening or weekend classes offered in your community. Only consider those that really interest you, that are group situations (as opposed to tennis or other one-on-one lessons), and that are likely to attract a healthy male/female mix.

Arrive early to allow time to chat with others, and don't be in a rush to leave after class. Suggest getting together after class for a cup of coffee to your classmates.

Take only the classes and seminars that you'll enjoy regardless of whether there are any eligible singles in them. Then if you meet Mr. or Ms. Wonderful, fine. If not, you'll still have enjoyed the class.

Church

Tried and true. You might enjoy visiting new churches where the people don't know you as so-and-so's spouse. This kind of fresh start also allows you to be who you've become, instead of who you used to be. Those you meet at church are part of a larger community, and have been virtually prescreened for you. If they have any major flaws, you'll pick up on them quickly.

Singles Organizations

Often held in churches, but usually nonsectarian, these offer a wide variety of singles events like canoe float trips, progressive dinners, parties, dances, and other social events in addition to divorce support groups. Check the weekly events listing in your newspaper for announcements and contact information.

Remember, you're recovering from a major emotional trauma. Don't make any of these outings pass/fail situations. If you decide at the last minute that you can't face one more group of strangers, give yourself permission to stay home.

Likewise, if you get halfway through the evening, and feel truly uncomfortable, it's perfectly OK to quietly absent yourself. Nobody else will make a big deal about it if you don't.

Go with your own flow for a change!

30 Fun Dates for Starting Over Single

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58 Dating Tips for the Newly Single

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