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My Parents and My Ex
Question
I have been divorced for 5 years after a 22-year marriage. My parents still socialize with my ex-husband regularly because they "enjoy his company."
It was an emotionally painful marriage and I don't understand how my parents could or would enjoy a relationship with a person who has hurt their own child so much. They rarely see me. Is this an unusual situation? Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
Answer
This situation is certainly not unheard of, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. Without further details about your family, I would suggest that there are "family of origin" issues between you and your parents. These issues are rarely resolved on their own without the help of a qualified family counselor.
If that's not possible, the next best thing would be to sit down with your parents and tell them how hurtful it is to you and ask for their feelings about the situation. If they reply "because we like his company" push a little further and ask for more or additional feelings. Be prepared, however, to face the possibility that they have issues with you and may not respond the way you'd like them to. If that's the case, you may have to let time elapse and take it up with them at a later date.
~ Mary Stuart, M.A.
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