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Starting the Process
Question
I am just starting to go through a divorce and would appreciate any advice or help you could give me. I feel so down and sad all the time. Even though I had to initiate the divorce, I can't seem to pull myself out of this.
Answer
Don't expect to "pull out of this" too quickly. Divorce is a major life transition involving multiple stressors, such as loss of spouse, change in income, moving, and loss or change of your basic emotional support system. When children are involved, another layer of change and caretaking must be dealt with.
Check this web site's Article Archive page, and even if you're vaguely familiar with the divorce process, get a good book to guide you through.
My book Your Pocket Divorce Guide [Pen Central Press 1999] lists practical steps to take when you separate, how to find an attorney and mediator, and a brief overview of the legal process. (There are other divorce books listed in our Books & Booklets section, but I'm naturally partial to this one!) Confusion greatly increases the stress level, so knowing how to proceed through the legal process is a big help.
Talk to friends who have been through divorce and can understand how overwhelmed you are.
Most of all be patient with yourself. Get as much rest as possible, try to eat nutritious meals, get a little exercise now and then, and keep close contact with those who are emotionally supportive and love you.
~ Linda C. Senn
Other Resources
Books and Booklets from Pen Central Press
Resources and Links for Divorce Information
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