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Out of Wedlock Child
Question
What do I do when my mate has had an affair and a child resulted from it?
Also what am I suppose to feel when his family has come into this and expects me to accept the child?
At first I did but then I couldn't any more and the mother of the child is using the child to try to cause problems in my marriage by not letting my husband see the child because I won't accept this situation.
I am about to loose my mind,and I don't know what else to do. My husband and I also have two kids of our own. Also the mother of this child named her son after my husband thinking that would make me leave. What should I do?
Answer
My first question to you is "What do you want?" You seem torn and confused, thereby enabling anyone ... your family, his family, this other woman ... to manipulate you and your feelings. Stop listening to people tell you what you "should" do! Listen to what you know is right for you (and you do know, really you do).
If that means talking to a professional therapist, a minister, a priest or other professional (as sounding boards only, not as people who will tell you what to do), then make an appointment and talk until it comes to you what you really feel. Advice is easy. Even I could tell you what you "should" do.
But it wouldn't be the right thing for you because only you know what that is! It definitely wouldn't hurt for you and your husband to seek some marital counseling. At least some outside help would assist in clarifying your issues.
~ Mary Stuart, M.A.
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